I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
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