at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
