pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
