Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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