I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
