so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
