Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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