Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
