If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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