It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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