We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize