Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
