I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
