i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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