i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
God, I missed his penis.
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