I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
