omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
