dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
