Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
