watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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