ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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