You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize