What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
