i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
