Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
