i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
