I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize