Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
