You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
