I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
