Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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