When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think your dad took our porno
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
