I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
