I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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