also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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