this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
