He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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