I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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