we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
