hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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