its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
