dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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