I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
