So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
