Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
