Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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