His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
