I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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