hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
