piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
