Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize