I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
