I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
