i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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