I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
