Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
