i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
