Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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