i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
