Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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