I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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