scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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