I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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