i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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