i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
