nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
