why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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